Responsible
Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
The U.S. Government decided to take an experiment to see what people say right before they get into an auto accident.
82% of the people in 49 states said: Oh, shit!
In Texas 97% said: Hold my beer. Watch this!
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, I would like to speak with Mr. John Smith, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.
The banker said, Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.
Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
What’s the matter? grumbled the boss. Haven’t you got a sense of humor?
I don’t have to laugh, she replied. I’m leaving Friday.
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, Man, I’m on the wrong bus!