The future mother-in-law asks, Young man, can you support a family?

The surprised groom-to-be replies, Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves

What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to put information into a computer once

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time

After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse?

Every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Sunday, she says

The doctor advises her to cut out Sunday

I can’t, says the woman. That’s the only night I’m home with my husband

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here?

NO, says the cop

What about all these other cars?

They didn’t ask!

Men are like computers

Hard to figure out and never have enough memory!