Two friends meet each other on the street.

Hhello! where are you coming from? asked John.

Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law replied Sam.

I’m so sorry! said John, But why is your face schratched all over?.

It wasn’t so easy! said Sam, She put on a hell of a fight!

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother

The note read, The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, There’s Kelly, she’s a lawyer, or that’s Jimmii. He’s a doctor

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, And there’s the teacher. He’s dead.

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

A policeman approaches her and says, Mam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?

She says, Why, officer?

Because your breast is hanging out.

She looks down and says, OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!

Two blondes meet in Heaven, How did you die?, the first one asks. Oh! I died in a freezer, the second blonde replied.

So how did you die? The second blonde asks, Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman, replied the first blonde.

The second blonde then says, If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!