It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.

Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?

I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early. replied the man in the dock.

That doesn’t seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by ‘very early?

Well, your Honour, said the defendant, “It was before the shop was open.”

1. When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address.

2. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”

3. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

4. You’re amazed to find out spam is a food.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

6. You introduce your wife as “mylady@house.wife” and refer to your children as “client applications”.

7. At social functions you introduce your husband as “my domain server”.

Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper.

Whats dumber than that? reading them.

Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something.

Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.

The math teacher saw that little Tony wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Tony! what are 3, 7, 24 and 36?”

Little Tony quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”

A student taking a philosophy class had a single question on his final: What is courage?

The student wrote: “This”, signed it, and turned it in.