Trouble listening
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Student: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Student: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
The principal was very proud of his school’s academic record.
It is very impressive. said one parent who was considering sending his son there. How do you maintain such high standards?
Simple, said the principal. The school motto says it all.
What’s that? asked the parent.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re expelled.
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. James handed in a blank sheet of paper.
James! yelled the teacher, you’ve done nothing. Why?
Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do!
What were you before you came to school, boys and girls? asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say “babies”
She was disappointed when all the children cried out “Happy”
A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.
Would you like a cherry on the top? asked the waitress.
No, thanks, said the girl, I’m on a diet!