A guy finally gets a date with a blonde. To prepare for the date he sunbathes in the nude on his roof, falls asleep and burns his manhood.

He doesn’t want to cancel so he slathers it with lotion and wraps it in gauze. The blonde shows up at his house, and he treats her to a home cooked dinner.

Afterwards they go to the living room to watch a movie. His manhood starts to bother him again so he excuses himself, goes into the kitchen, pours a glass of milk and immerses himself for immediate relief.

The blonde, however, wanted to know what he was doing and walks in on him with his Johnson in the milk and exclaims, So that’s how you guys load those things!

Q: Why are there only few Irish lawyers?

A: The majority of them can’t pass the bar!

At least kids can do it

A man walked into office on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened?

The man said, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye.

Where did you get the other shiner? the boss asked.

Well, the man said, I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.

A poor lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral.

The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court was asked to donate a dollar. Only a dollar? said the Justice.

Only a buck to bury an attorney? Here’s a ten spot go and bury nine more of them