The telephone rings in the principal’s office at a school.
Hello, this is Dunn Elementary, answers the principal.
Hi. Tony won’t be able to come to school all next week, replies the voice.
Well, what seems to be the problem with him?
We are all going on a family vacation, says the voice, I hope it is all right.
I guess that would be fine, says the principal. May I ask who is calling?
Sure. This is my father!
This woman walks into a tatoo shop and asks for a tatoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. why do you want these two tatoos there?
So she says because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years.
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat
The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear
She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go
When they get to the doctor’s, the man lifts his wife’s coat to show their predicament. The man asks, Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?
Well, yes, the doctor replies, but not framed like that.
Why did Microsoft give the name Windows to its operating system?
If you had so many errors, you would throw it out the window too!
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree.
He asked the blonde what she was doing and she replied, I’m hanging myself.
Your supposed to put the noose around your neck not your waist. said the onlooker.
I already tried that, replied the blonde but I couldn’t breathe
