A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. However, their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?

I give it to them, replied the lawyer, and then I send them a bill.

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

Witness: He said, Where am I, Sarah?

Lawyer: And why did that upset you?

Witness: My name is Susan!

A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. PO’d cop walks up and yells at the guy, What’s the big idea?

The guy responds, Last week my wife ran off with a cop, he said, and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!

Off you go, said the officer.

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data

A guy goes to his doctor.

He says to the doctor, I don’t know whats wrong with my sexual life

Doctor says, What seems to be the problem

Guy replies, I don’t know, maybe I don’t have the right knack

Doctor examines guy and says, I have news for you , you don’t have the left one either.