What did Lee Harvey Oswald say to Jackie O. after her death?

Glad to se ya, I missed you.

Two blondes are in a dark theater

First Blonde: Hey, the guy next to me is jerking off

Second Blonde: Just ignore him.

First Blonde: I can’t. He’s using my hand.

It’s only fair that the government is now protecting senior citizens against catastrophic illness. Sometimes just realizing you’re a senior citizen is catastrophic enough.

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals. She proudly said, go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.

A brunette said, OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?

The blonde replied, Oh, that’s easy, “W”

Why does Sarah Palin only wear skirts whenever she’s campaigning?

Because all her pants are on fire.