Sex is like ur salary

Your don’t disclose what u get but you always think that others get more than you

A wife finds out that her husband is cheating on her while stationed in Dubai. So she sends him a very special care package.

He is very excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they’re all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching TV.

In the middle of one of the shows, the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees giving his best friend oral sex. After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, By the way, I want a divorce.

Teacher: why are you always late for school?

Tomy: because you always ring the bell before I get here!

A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $500 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking Your honor, my client can only afford $150, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd

Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.

Class: Yahoo!

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon