2009 January | Haha Joking! - Page 3
Hearing problems

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.

To which the gentleman said, Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!

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Old man & younger woman

After marrying a much younger woman, a 75 year old man visited his doctor and announced they were expecting a baby despite the doctor’s previous reassurances that they would not need to use birth control.

Let me tell you a story, said the doctor. An absent minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a tiger charged toward him. Pointing his umbrella at the tiger, he shot and killed the animal on the spot.

Impossible! exclaimed the old man. Somebody must have shot from the side!

Exactly, replied the doctor.

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Blonde’s mother died

One morning a neighbor of a blonde go over to her house and sees the blonde crying and asked her what had happened and the blonde said that her mother had passed away.

The neighbor made her some coffee and settled her down a little and then left.

The next morning the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.

She asked her why she was crying again.

The blonde replied with, I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!

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Really drunk!

A man was really drunk in a bar. He decided it was time to go home or else his wife would be mad.

Every time he tried to walk however he always tripped and fell. When he finally got home he fell on the bed and he heard his wife was on the phone.

Yes he returned home right now. Yes I will inform him about this.

The wife put down the phone and went to her husband. She told him he was drunk again.

The husband asked how did she know.

She said the bar called and told her he forgot his wheelchair in the bar again.

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Blonde, Brunette & Santa Clause

A smart blonde, a brunette and Santa Clause stand on top of a bridge and jump off. Which hits the ground first??

Probably brunette because the other two dont exist.

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