Pregnant Blonde
What does a blonde say when she finds out she’s pregnant?
Are you sure it’s mine?
What does a blonde say when she finds out she’s pregnant?
Are you sure it’s mine?
A cop stops his patrol car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The guy is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his ass hole, and she’s reaming away with a vengeance.
The cop says, What the hell is going on here?
The girl says, This is my date. When I told him I wouldn’t spend the night with him, he started pouring down the booze. Now, he’s too drunk to drive me home, so I’m trying to sober him up by making him puke.
The cop says, That’s not gonna make him puke.
She says, Yeah? Wait till I put this finger in his mouth.
A man walks into a bar.
There’s a beautiful lady sitting at the bar, and they sit and have a drink together. She leans over and says, I need you to make me feel like a real woman.
So the guy takes off his black jacket and says, I need this ironed.
After marrying a much younger woman, a 75 year old man visited his doctor and announced they were expecting a baby despite the doctor’s previous reassurances that they would not need to use birth control.
Let me tell you a story, said the doctor. An absent minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a tiger charged toward him. Pointing his umbrella at the tiger, he shot and killed the animal on the spot.
Impossible! exclaimed the old man. Somebody must have shot from the side!
Exactly, replied the doctor.
A lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus.
A bus pulled up and the driver opened the door, she tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight.
So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. she tried to step up onto the steps again.
But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more.
And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus.
So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt.
He gives her a boost onto the bus.
She turns around and slaps him and saying What do you think you are doing.
Well the man says Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the second time I thought we was acquainted