A fellow went to the confessional in a Catholic church and told the father he would like to confess.

The father said, that’s what I’m here for my son.

So the fellow said, father I had intercourse 4 times last night, the father said that all right my son, your married aren’t you?

The fellow said, hell no, I am not even Catholic but I wanted to tell my experience somebody!

New Zealand Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hardcore pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers’ money in the form of a company check.

However, due to the name of the company, only few people will present these checks to their banks.

The name of the company The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company.

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterward and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to screw one of his patients.

However, a little voice in his head said lots of other doctors also have sex with their patients so you’re not the first

This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, but they probably weren’t veterinarians?

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead enter an elevator. As they walk in they notice a small puddle of white liquid on the floor of the elevator.

The brunette bends down for a closer look, and states, very matter of fact, It looks like sperm.

The redhead stoops down a little closer, takes a deep breath through her nose, and proclaims, Yes, and it smells like sperm.

The blonde stoops down yet closer, puts the tip of her finger into the puddle, touches it to her tongue and exclaims, Well, it’s nobody from our building!

Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other.

A woman comes on stage and starts stripping. The guy in back, James, says, Oh yeah, Oh yeah!

Then the first guy turns around and says, Hey James, shut up!

Then two women come out and start stripping. James, once again, starts, Yeah baby… ummm… oh yeah!

Once again the guy in front turns around and tells James to be quiet.

So three women come out and start stripping. James is silent.

The guy in front says, Hey James, where’s all your excitement now?

James says, All over your back!