Adult Jokes - Page 4
Three married men

Three men were drinking at a bar a doctor, a lawyer and a biker.

As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, For her birthday I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring.

As the lawyer was drinking his martini he said, For my wife’s birthday I’m going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn’t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet.

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, I’m going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn’t like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!

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Good friends

Two good friends are out driving on Route 66 and one guy has to take a leak. Being in the middle of nowhere they pull over by some shrubbery and the guy goes to relieve himself. Suddenly, he screams Aaagh! a rattler bit my dick!

Relax! says his friend, I’ll go find a pay phone and call a doctor. So his friend drives off and finds a pay phone, call a doctor and asks what he should do.

Well, said the doctor, you must cut crosses in the wound and suck out the poison.

Is that the only way doctor? asked the man.

Yes, you must do that or he’ll die.

He finally gets back to friend and his friend asked So, what did the doctor say?

You’re gonna die, buddy. You’re gonna die.

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Sexual life

A guy goes to his doctor.

He says to the doctor, I don’t know whats wrong with my sexual life

Doctor says, What seems to be the problem

Guy replies, I don’t know, maybe I don’t have the right knack

Doctor examines guy and says, I have news for you , you don’t have the left one either.

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Feel like a woman again!

A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of the world’s tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cable snaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground.

The emergency brakes don’t work, the emergency phone doesn’t work, and they both begin to panic.

The woman screams, We’re going to die!, rips of all her clothes, throws herself on the floor and says to the man make me feel like a woman again!

So, he pulls off his jacket, throws it on the floor, and says pick that up, bitch

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Still hurts

Three women were teeing off to the first hole of their golf game. The forth woman hit a terrific slice and it zoomed off to the next fairway and hit a guy. He clasped his hands to his crotch and fell down in pain.

The woman ran over to him and taking his hands and placing them to his side said, I’m a physical therapist and I can help you.

She then proceeded to open up his pants and began to massage his private parts therein. After a few minutes she said, There! Doesn’t that feel better?

The guy said, Yeah that does feel good. But my thumb still hurts like hell

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