A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. However, their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?

I give it to them, replied the lawyer, and then I send them a bill.

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

Witness: He said, Where am I, Sarah?

Lawyer: And why did that upset you?

Witness: My name is Susan!

A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. PO’d cop walks up and yells at the guy, What’s the big idea?

The guy responds, Last week my wife ran off with a cop, he said, and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!

Off you go, said the officer.

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 10 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her Why don’t you eat the peanuts?

We can’t chew them because we have no teeth, she replied.

We just love the chocolate around them.

What do you call a bunch of white people pushing a car up a hill?

White power

What do you call a bunch of black people pushing a car up a hill?

Black power

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans pushing a car up a hill?

Grand theft auto