A blonde went to her mailbox several times before it was even time for the mailman to come

A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting for a special delivery

She replied my computer keeps telling me I have mail!

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,

Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?

The third fellow says I will tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.

The first two guys were amazed. What happened then? they asked. She said, get out from under the bed and fight like a man.

There was a Russian a Cuban an American and a lawyer on a train.

The Russian started the conversation with “Mother Russia has the best vodka ever and we have so much we can just throw it away.” So the Russian throws a bottle out the window.

Then the Cuban speaks up “Cuba has the best cigars and we have so much we could throw them away.” So the Cuban throws some cigars out the window.

Well the American doesn’t say a single thing but gets up and walks over to the lawyer and throws him out the window.

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.

What’s the matter? Are you sick? he asked.

No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing.

Two bachelors were talking about their respective choice of life partner.

One friend said, It is generally said that people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages. What is your opinion?

The friend replied, Yes, they are right. That is why I am looking for a girl with a money!