A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a runway at night
Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said Guess who?
The controller switched the runway lights off and replied Guess where!
Faced with hard times, a company offered a bonus of two thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to fifty dollars.
A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
What’s the matter with me? he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, You’re not eating properly.
A man decided to improve his computer skills, and threw myself into it with enthusiasm. Every week he would check out five or six instructional books from the library.
After about a month the librarian commented, Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable by now.
Thanks, he said. How can you tell?
The librarian explained, Only two of the books you’re checking out this week have FOR DUMMIES in their titles.
A guy walks into post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing Love stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, Guess who?
But why? asks the man.
I’m a divorce lawyer, the man replies.
