How did it happen? the doctor asked the middle aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg.

Well, doc, 15 years ago…

Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.

Like I was saying… 15 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone to bed, the farmer’s beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said, No, everything is fine.

Are you sure? she asked.

I’m sure, I said.

Isn’t there anything I can do for you? she wanted to know.

I reckon not, I replied.

Excuse me, said the doctor, What does this story have to do with your leg?

Well, this morning, the farmhand explained, when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!

A man went in for a brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon.

He could choose either the Architect’s brain which would cost him $50,000 or the Politician’s which was $500,000.

Does that mean that the politician’s brain is much better than the Architect’s? exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.

Not exactly replied the surgeon, the politician’s has never been used.

Two West Virginia lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the hills. She was attractive, but it was obvious that she knew nothing about city life.

One attorney said to the other, Sarah is so young and pretty she might be taken advantage of by some of those fast talking city guys. Why don’t we teach her what’s right and what’s wrong?

Great idea, said the partner. You teach her what’s right.

Hillary Clinton was on her way somewhere when he came across a little boy selling puppies. She stops and asks the boy What kind of puppies are they?

The boy replies, They’re Democratic puppies, Ma’am. With this she smiles and walks off.

Later on that day she mentions to Bill about the boy and his puppies and suggested that it might be nice to have a puppy around the house. The next week Bill was on his way to McDonald’s and saw the boy and his puppies. He stops and asks the boy, What kind of puppies are they?

The boy replies, They’re Republican puppies, Sir.

Republican puppies? Bill asked. Last week you told my wife they were Democratic puppies.

The boy replied, I know, Sir. But since then they opened their eyes.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, I’ve kidnapped you.

She then wrote a note saying, I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $50,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $50,000 with a note that said, How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?