While your boss is at lunch, you sneek in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.

A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn. Your boss was standing behind you. It’s his wife.

You take a sick day. The next morning the boss asks you, So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?

You return from a week’s vacation to find that you had scheduled this week as vacation, not last week.