Quiz: What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river?
Ans: Pollution.

Quiz: What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge?
Ans: Solution

A guy walks into post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing Love stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, Guess who?

But why? asks the man.

I’m a divorce lawyer, the man replies.

Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a pretty girl walks by

Buddy, I’d like to screw her, says first lawyer.

I agree, says the other. But out of what?

A boy went to a brain store to get some brain to pass an annual exam. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store.

He begins to question the salesman about the cost of these brains.

How much does it cost for architect brain?

$10 an ounce.

How much does it cost for IT professional brain?

$15 an ounce.

How much for lawyer brain?

$500 an ounce.

Why is lawyer brain so much more?

Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?

Two West Virginia lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the hills. She was attractive, but it was obvious that she knew nothing about city life.

One attorney said to the other, Sarah is so young and pretty she might be taken advantage of by some of those fast talking city guys. Why don’t we teach her what’s right and what’s wrong?

Great idea, said the partner. You teach her what’s right.