Haha Joking! » lawyer

Pollution & Solution

joker — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 02:50:29 +0000

Quiz: What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river?
Ans: Pollution.

Quiz: What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge?
Ans: Solution

Lawyer and Valentine Cards

joker — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:29:40 +0000

A guy walks into post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing Love stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, Guess who?

But why? asks the man.

I’m a divorce lawyer, the man replies.

Two lawyers & Pretty girl

joker — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:53:06 +0000

Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a pretty girl walks by

Buddy, I’d like to screw her, says first lawyer.

I agree, says the other. But out of what?

Lawyers Brain

joker — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:04:39 +0000

A boy went to a brain store to get some brain to pass an annual exam. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store.

He begins to question the salesman about the cost of these brains.

How much does it cost for architect brain?

$10 an ounce.

How much does it cost for IT professional brain?

$15 an ounce.

How much for lawyer brain?

$500 an ounce.

Why is lawyer brain so much more?

Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?

Lawyers & Secretary

joker — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 12:50:12 +0000

Two West Virginia lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the hills. She was attractive, but it was obvious that she knew nothing about city life.

One attorney said to the other, Sarah is so young and pretty she might be taken advantage of by some of those fast talking city guys. Why don’t we teach her what’s right and what’s wrong?

Great idea, said the partner. You teach her what’s right.

Lawyer bills!

joker — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 11:56:55 +0000

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. However, their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?

I give it to them, replied the lawyer, and then I send them a bill.

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Lawyer & witness

joker — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 11:55:37 +0000

Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

Witness: He said, Where am I, Sarah?

Lawyer: And why did that upset you?

Witness: My name is Susan!

Shocking!!!

joker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:40:52 +0000

It was so cold out the today that I saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets.

Lawyer’s necktie

joker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:38:16 +0000

What’s sixteen inches long and hangs in front of a pussy?

A lawyer’s necktie.

Take a lawyer

joker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:34:33 +0000

A man walks into a bar with a dog one day and he goes to the bartender and says, Do you serve lawyers here?

The bartender says, We certainly do

The man than says, Great I’ll have a bottle of beer and my dog here will take a lawyer.