A poor lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral.

The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court was asked to donate a dollar. Only a dollar? said the Justice.

Only a buck to bury an attorney? Here’s a ten spot go and bury nine more of them

A woman walks into a lawyers office and sits herself down, How much?

$150 for three questions.

That’s quite expensive. Are you any good?

The best there is. Now then, what’s your third question?

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news

Client: Well, give me the bad news first

Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene

Client: Oh no! I’m ruined! What’s the good news?

Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!

There was a Russian a Cuban an American and a lawyer on a train.

The Russian started the conversation with “Mother Russia has the best vodka ever and we have so much we can just throw it away.” So the Russian throws a bottle out the window.

Then the Cuban speaks up “Cuba has the best cigars and we have so much we could throw them away.” So the Cuban throws some cigars out the window.

Well the American doesn’t say a single thing but gets up and walks over to the lawyer and throws him out the window.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!