As a little boy climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, And what would you like for Christmas?

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped Didn’t you get my E-mail?

Mummy, here’s your Christmas present. A box of your favorite chocolates.

Thanks, but the box is half empty?

Well, they’re my favorite chocolates too.

The telephone rings in the principal’s office at a school.

Hello, this is Dunn Elementary, answers the principal.

Hi. Tony won’t be able to come to school all next week, replies the voice.

Well, what seems to be the problem with him?

We are all going on a family vacation, says the voice, I hope it is all right.

I guess that would be fine, says the principal. May I ask who is calling?

Sure. This is my father!

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother

The note read, The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, There’s Kelly, she’s a lawyer, or that’s Jimmii. He’s a doctor

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, And there’s the teacher. He’s dead.