Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal

I know all that.

Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all!

What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?

A list of everything you want!

It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.

Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?

I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early. replied the man in the dock.

That doesn’t seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by ‘very early?

Well, your Honour, said the defendant, “It was before the shop was open.”

1. When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address.

2. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”

3. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

4. You’re amazed to find out spam is a food.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

6. You introduce your wife as “mylady@house.wife” and refer to your children as “client applications”.

7. At social functions you introduce your husband as “my domain server”.