An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. James handed in a blank sheet of paper.
James! yelled the teacher, you’ve done nothing. Why?
Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do!
What were you before you came to school, boys and girls? asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say “babies”
She was disappointed when all the children cried out “Happy”
A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.
Would you like a cherry on the top? asked the waitress.
No, thanks, said the girl, I’m on a diet!
What do you do? a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with.
I’m a nurse.
I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me, he whispered in her ear.
That would be miraculous, I work on the maternity ward!
Mother: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class.
Teacher: But she’s top of the class.
Mother: That’s why I think it must be a terrible class.
