Headache
Teacher: I’d like you to be very quiet today, girls. I’ve got a dreadful headache.
Jane: Please, Miss ! why don’t you do what mum does when she has a headache?
Teacher: What’s that?
Jane: She sends us out to play!
Teacher: I’d like you to be very quiet today, girls. I’ve got a dreadful headache.
Jane: Please, Miss ! why don’t you do what mum does when she has a headache?
Teacher: What’s that?
Jane: She sends us out to play!
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.
Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.”
“Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?”