Teacher: I’d like you to be very quiet today, girls. I’ve got a dreadful headache.

Jane: Please, Miss ! why don’t you do what mum does when she has a headache?

Teacher: What’s that?

Jane: She sends us out to play!

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

Jane: Do you like me ?

Wayne: As girls go, you’re fine and the sooner you go the better!

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.”

“Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?”