A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals. She proudly said, go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.

A brunette said, OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?

The blonde replied, Oh, that’s easy, “W”

Why does Sarah Palin only wear skirts whenever she’s campaigning?

Because all her pants are on fire.

How to always give 100% at work? Let me explain…

15% Monday
20% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday

A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $500 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking Your honor, my client can only afford $150, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd

Tina: You remind me of the sea.

Jack: Because I’m wild, unpredictable and romantic?

Tina: NO, because you make me sick.