QUIZ. What’s a man’s idea of helping with the housework?

ANS. Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?

Student: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!

The principal was very proud of his school’s academic record.

It is very impressive. said one parent who was considering sending his son there. How do you maintain such high standards?

Simple, said the principal. The school motto says it all.

What’s that? asked the parent.

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re expelled.

What is the dumbest part on a man’s body?

The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!

My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate

So i got two Girlfriends.